Saturday, May 17, 2008

the minute of changes

the mind is going towards thousands of destinations simultaneously

i just finish reading a blog.
it's a real life story.
but the way she expressed it.
it seems like those stories in NOVELS that you read.

almost cry.
somehow, my heart was moved.
sometimes i wondered, how lucky i am to live in this world
but somehow or another, i felt that i was the only one who live in here and the others are just hallucinating.



it is difficult to express
but it keep on going around my thinking box



anyway, a friend of mine.(it's better not to type the name)
this friend was okay at the begining.
as my usual friends, doing usual stuff.
but somehow later part of it, it became worst
can't deny but i admit, it's part of my fault too

maybe i was too friendly for this friend
and this friend thought that i could be bestest bestfriend where this friend can lay everything on me, be it problems, money, things etc

well, i don't mind all that.
what are friends for.

but the problem is,
i don't really like to talk much on the phone
especially when i only hear the sound of the fan, fanning either of us, of the clock ticking every seconds etc
(when it's not essential)


not only that, but also by texting, every minute.
i'm fine with texting but isn't it great when you text someone asking bout his/her updates of life or whatever, once in awhile?
instead of each and everyday.

i somehow got irritated.
yes, i've explained.

so much.

my bill increases to 200++
and AMY got to pay
but of course my mom is so not evil
no parents will want to see their children in pain
so i paid half of it
and it was lucky enough that it wasnt cut off or confiscated

that was not a big deal
but if i were to sympatize others more than myself,
i'm not going to be in a great state myself


many will be disapointed in me
mom
friends
relatives
etc

i hate to be force
and i know i've said this thousands of times
i love the memories
yes of course
but when it goes abroad
it was irritating

because of one thing, everthing was damaged
i've said once, but it keep coming in to me

irritated


i know you have to let it out
but you did it in a wrong way
like i said, it's hard for me to express
but, okay, let's put it this way
just be independent okay

i really wanted to help you in any ways
but with your "kind of attitude"
i just felt irritated
that's all

&erm, i really appreciated those in the past
whatever it is
and i know how you feel when your dad did that
and whatever
you're a kind girl anyway

just relax the mind
think of something fun(not me), for the moment
just try to bond with your family especially your parents
i know im not myself, but your situation is definately not the same as mine you see


Apabila individu itu sudah berusaha
tetapi maksudnya tidak tercapai,
ia bukan suatu kehinaan.
Kehinaan itu terletak pada mereka yang tidak berusaha tetapi mengharapkan kejayaan.

with love,
____` DIRA SHAMYRAH.

Posted by `aYmerOn at 3:46 PM